Journal Entry: I (12/11/06)

They say at the end there is a new beginning. In which cases is this statement true? When on the subject of death, as the end, is a new life given because of it? The myth of the phoenix is that in its last moments of life it ignites to fire. There is no burial of a phoenix that has lived a full life. There is no need to mourn. Out of the ashes of the phoenix a baby phoenix is born, leaving you continuously happy. A friend has died it is the end. So where is my new beginning? Does Joey get one? Out of his untimely death what is everyone else supposed to get? We were given grief and sorrow. We all know pain; it’s nothing new to any of us. It was the end of something so where is the beginning? What is the purpose of investing emotions if we are going to be continually disappointed with the unforgiving human body? When asked are you sad? Depresses? You simply say yes, for now I am. But my beginning will come. Out of all my sorrows and all my loses the only thing I am left with is hope. But what if that’s not enough? Enough to tread on for? Where’s the motivation? If death comes to all why live? Your riches and important personal possessions cannot be taken to the after life. Your emotion and memories cannot be kept for reincarnation. So not it comes down to your impact on others. Though death comes to all that live, what about the dead’s impact on the living? If I died today my only satisfaction in death would be knowing the people I loved. Knowing the people I affected. If I changed the living’s views, or I would hope, lives. Then all death brings is the beginning. To do it again. The people that tell you they love you won’t be the same without you. But could your death bring more love, more people together? Could that be a greater impact on the living than your own life infact? Your life is carried on by the people you touch. They pass on to people they know who you were and what you did to make them laugh, your thoughts, ideas and principals. So I guess I’ve learned to love my friends and be there for them, so that they are there for me when I’m gone. (along time from now)
-Thinking of you Joe and struggling to understand.