Growing Up

Everyone says that with maturity comes greater decisions. My bridge to cross right now is with religion. I find myself becoming maybe more faithful. I don't know how to use the term loosely. I have been attending club. Its a very very low dose of religion. You go, theres like 30 kids, and sing a few songs, there are some skits, and some group games, and then Tim, the youth leader closes with a passage from the Bible and relates it to life to teach you a lesson. Tonight's lesson was to not think God thinks less of you because you have free time. Right now, the end of the year everyone is in chaos, you know finishing late work, getting things organized, getting ready for next year, the point of the lesson was that God does not judge you based on what you do. Your no different if you have free time than someone that is running around constantly. Sometimes thinking about it, i waste so much time procrastinating and just hanging out in parking lots, or watching TV. What if i could put that time to better use, to help others even, which is a very good point i should address, but the point was that God just wants to know who you are. He wants you to be a well rounded person, someone with personality. And maybe this just made me more comfortable with all the free time i have but it does mean something. And i hope that everyone else who has religion or believes in god is that maybe its not entirely what you do with with your free time, but maybe who you are as a person. As long as you take your time and develop to become something greater, God can support you. I must say I am not a very religious person. I can see myself moving towards religion. It just helps sometimes to know that what you are doing is accepted by a greater power, that your not entirely selfish. My only is that im (i use this term loosly) gay. If i do continue to build a life involving God, and develop a strong belief, wont i not be accepted? I want a pastor who knows who i am, and accepts me for all of me. I feel like if i were to start being more religious it will just be something hushed and in the background that everyone gossips about. I dont know. Ive never had trouble being who i am around anyone, and for me to go into a room of religous, church goers, i just feel like everyones eyes would be on me. But i do want to leave, telling you that do as you please, make good choices, be selfish. Everyone needs time of their own to become who they will be. Without those experiences you could miss something that could change you for the better. Be with people who intrigue you and provoke your thoughts. Keep questioning.